— Susi Alexander

Susie, that's a very, very good question. And it's one that I've struggled with my whole life because even at a young age, I was told I was fat and I never was. And that is something that I've carried around with me for most of my life. And I think looking back, what I would say is that it's a long, it's a long journey to undo the messages that were given to us. And there are lots of reasons why we might have a not good relationship with our body besides what others are telling us we should and should not look like. Uh, it takes any one of these, a trusted advisor, whether that's a, um, a clinician, uh, uh, a pastor, somebody who can help you really dive into what your relationship is with food. I, I give a talk, um, called the Food Shaman where I, I really talk about the different aspects of food and have people go through that. Like, what is your, what was your role in your family? Were you, the, the pretty one? The, and again, in those focus groups for Weight and Wellness Center, I would, I'm, I'm the ugly duckling or I'm the fat one in the family, and these are like characteristics or, or terms that were put on them, and they still carry them around 50 years later. Uh, and usually if you don't have a good relationship with your body, it's not your messages in there that are, that are the monkey brain, right? They're the ones that came from other people. And being able to slow down and distinguish between what is true to yourself and what have other people, what have they been telling you that is not true, that takes commitment and love. And I had a, a really good friend once say to me, um, every time I was struggling, she would say, compassion, compassion, compassion. So every time you're, you are in that situation where you don't, you're not thinking good about your body, just have compassion and, and it does take time. Um, and good luck to you on that.